Source: Associated Press
MIAMI, U.S.A., November 16, 2002: Many Hindus and Muslims growing up in America are following in the footsteps of their parents by having their marriages arranged. For example, one young couple, Mala Shay Kher who grew up in Florida and Prashant Kaul who grew up in London, were engaged in August and plan to marry in January. Parents on both sides knew each other back in India and asked the couple to consider marriage in 1998. Kher, a University of Miami medical student says, ” We never would have met if our families didn’t arrange our marriage. There was no pressure like we had to do it. It’s like a friend setting you up on a blind date, except it’s your parents. In America and Europe, people have a negative connotation of arranged marriage.” Christine Gudorf, a religious studies professor at Florida International University says, “In Muslim countries and India, education has changed the way marriage works. In the past, girls were married at 12 or 13 and not mature enough to make choices. Forced marriages at young ages still occur, but they’re rare for the middle and upper-classes that immigrate to the United States.” Both Muslim and Hindu families, who frown on dating, network among friends and relatives to find a potential suitable mate for their children. Minal Ahson, a 19-year-old Muslim girl, says, “Avoiding dating helped me concentrate on my schoolwork. One reason why parents are involved in marriage is because you tend to get stars in your eyes when you fall in love. You might overlook bad qualities of the person.” Loretta Ross, executive director of National Center for Human Rights Education in Atlanta says, “Young immigrant women are vulnerable to being coerced into marriage. People you love can pressure you to do a lot of things, especially family members.” Saba Khan, a 19-year-old Muslim girl who attends the University of Miami adds, “My parents plan to give me the final say on anyone they recommend to me,” and blames the media for the misconceptions. “It’s rare that people are forced into marriages. A happy family just isn’t news.”